Common Nightclub Circa 2010

Coming of Age is supposed to be a young persons transition from being a child to being adult. However I am still waiting on this miraculous transition happening to me. I know what your thinking, Im 25 and well in my adult years however I can honestly say I don’t feel it what so ever. I still feel the exact same as I did when I was 18 working in the clooobs. I’ve been to Uni, travelled, got a “real” job and bought a house since then, all of which you would think would make me feel more grown up. Well… it hasn’t.

All through university I “winged” it and I feel like I’m “winging” adulthood just as well. I’m still waiting to be caught out as this fraudster appearing to have my sh*t together when in reality I’m still the 18 year old girl with bad outfit choices that needs their mums advice on EVERYTHING.

Firewater with the college troops Circa 2009

I still have Coco Pops/Cookie Crisp every morning for breakfast. I don’t iron, I purposely buy clothes that don’t need ironed is that bad?! I don’t care it’s how I roll. I’m still terrible with money. Should I buy the outfit or have some money left at the end of the month… It’s a no brainer I’ll have the outfit and then need to eat at my mums for the week before payday (she likes having me round anyways).

Good Ol’ Karbon Thursdays

Remember when you were little and you would talk about being 25, married with a massive house, millions in the bank and 3 kids? Wtf I can barely look after myself never mind a child. I honestly praise all you mums out there because I genuinely don’t know if I’ll ever be “grown up” enough to be responsible for someone else.

I legitimately still check under my bed every single night. I don’t really know what I would do if there was a boogie man under there but I still just check incase. If you watched the TV series Luther you will understand why this fear was heightened in my adult years. The scene where the man slides out from under a bed has scarred me for life.

Working behind the Bar at BOHO at 18 (the best years evaaa)

Oh I also don’t know how to work my heating. I legit button bash the thermostat until it comes on. I had a Smart Metre installed 2 months ago, I turned it on and it looked waaaay too complicated. It now resides in my cupboard with other things I refuse to acknowledge. Reading manuals ain’t my thang. I’ll tell you what is my thang though… cartoons. Spongebob Squarepants, The Simpsons, Family Guy and Pixar Movies all being a personal favourite.

I don’t know, I just feel like all of the above are things successful adulting adults just wouldn’t do y’know?

I’m not saying I’m like the movie BIG where I’m a 8 year old stuck in a adults body there are days that I can’t escape the fact I’m 25. Payday being one of them. Back in the day (1 year ago) on payday I was like Richard Branson aka billy big baws. Living the dig-free life in my mums, the only bills I had to worry about was my mobile and car. Balling, I would buy SOOOO much. Clothes, shoes, food,jewellery you name it I bought it. Aw gahds how I miss buying absolutely everything and anything. Now payday comes and half the money is taken instantly by bills, Bills, BILLS. Tremendous bills. Believe me they are not as sassy as Destiny’s Child made them sound.

Those working summers in Magaluf

I do believe these bills to be the cause of  2 fabulous new frown lines in-between my eyebrows; right where everyone can see. I swear they have came right out of no where. One day perfectly smooth 18 year old skin. The next day BAMMM 2 massive wrinkles for being a grumpy old 25 year old. I am seriously looking into getting botox. I believe I’m too young to have indented lines on my face. That’s not supposed to happen till your 40’s right?! AHHHH.

I swear I ate whatever I wanted at this age…

Oh and another thing. Your body just starts changing at 25. You can no longer drink and eat whatever you want without putting weight on. I have all of sudden adopted some bingo wings, a muffin top and a lil too thick thighs. Those 10 Jager bombs, chips and cheese at 3am and a McDonalds breakfast now all go straight to the above areas. Long gone is the teenager metabolism that turns all those calories into thin air. I literally feel guilty about everything I eat. Well not THAT guilty because I still eat like a pig but more guilty than I did at 18 ok.

I guess I’m just waiting for that magical switch to happen the switch that I become a successful adult, like the one in your dreams as a kid. Does it ever happen? Im not sure but for now I’ll just stay in this paradoxical in-between stage.

25 is the new 18.